Okay, it is about time I post again. I have been so wrapped up in my self pity about spring taking its time getting here that I have neglected my blog. Well, maybe that is only half true. I also haven't posted because I didn't want my negativeness to show through. I can only post happy, oh so perfect moments...right? The truth is my patients and moods have not been so great as of late. I've been tired and grouchy and not feeling like the best mom or friend or wife. It is definitely time for tax season to come to an end--only 16 more days. Can I survive? I honestly feel like I am at the end of my rope. Every time I turn around Sam has destroyed something or made a huge mess, one of the boys is whining, the boys are fighting, and if I hear the word Mommy one more time I just might scream. I need to be ALONE. I need to go somewhere ALONE, where no one can talk to me, no one can walk in on me, no one is demanding my complete and undivided attention. I would love to shower, just once, with out Sam barging in demanding something. I have been trying to figure out why this winter was so much harder and Merritt reminded me that last year I was taking a class at ISU. I really think that was what made the difference. I love my boys and I love being a stay at home mom, but I have always needed alone time. I am an introvert. Oh, I love being social. I love to do things with friends and my family but I also need to be alone to recharge. Tax season does not accommodate that need. So, Mert, I am forewarning you--as of April 15 you are going to have some wonderful opportunities to bond with the boys! I am so grateful I have a husband who is willing to humor me!
Now that I have vented I feel much better. Thank you Megan for reminding me to keep this real and not pretend everything is perfect! I am also getting very excited for BYU Women's Conference. Another great weekend to help me recharge. And what perfect timing, just a couple of weeks after tax season ends. It could not be more perfect! I CAN'T WAIT!!!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The Truth
Posted by Mandee at 6:43 PM
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4 comments:
Well, you already know that I can relate to every single thing you just wrote, LOL! Might I suggest.... hiring a sitter for a day???!! Maybe you'll have to get a teenager, even for a Saturday with both of the boys? Surely a measure of sanity is purchasable :)
I know what it is like to crave alone time - just to be able to go the grocery store alone would be wonderful. And when I get the chance like once or twice a year (hee hee) I take it. But, as hard as it is now, I'm sure in 17 years, it will be a little bit lonely :)
Oh, I forgot to add that going to the bathroom and taking a shower are things I look forward to doing without an audience sometime in the near future - yes, I sure love you Morgan and Carson :)
Women's conference, that sounds like the perfect perscription! And how gutsy to post a "keeping it real" blog entry. I don't have the guts to do that yet. If i did I would include the picture I took at Sea World just as we arrived and Kelly's phone rang, or vibrated would be more accurate. I had to snap the photo of him on the phone, while we wait, some distance away so that all that bishop stuff stays private--or of the time.....jsut kidding!
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