Unplanned Surgery (Isn’t that the best kind?)

For those of you who didn’t know, Mandee had a bit of a medical scare during the month of February (of course it had to be in the middle of tax season… because that always makes everything more enjoyable). 

It all started out with some abdominal pain (normally just confused with gas, in case you were wondering).  After that didn’t go away for several days, and after her very kind, loving and insightful husband told her to “go to the freaking doctor”, my smoking hot wife finally consented and made a trip to the urgent care.  As Mandee frequently does… she stumped the doctors.  They weren’t sure what she had, so they decided to run several tests, including an ultrasound.  In the ultrasound, the technician found that one of Mandee’s ovaries was very enlarged and the other was playing “hide-and-seek”.  On a side note… as it turns out… I may be awesome, but slightly clueless when it comes to womanly stuff.  I didn’t even realize she still had those things.  I thought the doctor had harvested everything that was left to harvest out of Mandee following her hospital stay with Sammy. 

Later that night, Mandee received a phone call from the PA that she had seen earlier.  In what can only be described as “amazing bed-side manner” the PA proceeded to tell Mandee that “Hey, we think you might have cancer… you might want to get that checked out.”  Okay, that isn’t really how it happened, but that is how it felt.  The PA explained that one ovary was covered in a large cyst and the other ovary was behind a large mass that they thought was cancer.  Needless to say, Mandee and I freaked (for lack of a better word). It was too late at night to call our regular doctor so we looked up everything on the internet that we could find about abdominal masses.  It didn’t help our mood much when we realized that every search we made ended up linking us to the symptoms of ovarian cancer.  That is when the freaking out really kicked into high gear.

We had a couple of incredibly stressful days (which included many prayers and blessings) before we were able to talk to Dr. Dixon and his amazing nurse Jan.  They immediately scheduled Mandee for a CAT scan to get a more detailed look at what was lurking inside of Mandee.  On another side note… I don’t know that I have met another person who has had so many things removed from their belly (appendix, 2 C-sections, gall bladder, hysterectomy, … so on and so forth… throw in a disc removal for good measure and you have one really messed up, although smoking hot, mama).  The day of the CAT scan came.  Jan, I hope we have mentioned how amazing she is, called Mandee back immediately as the results were available.  She told us that what the PA had so delicately described to us as cancer,  appeared to be scar tissue (go back a few sentences and review the amount of abdominal surgeries that this little tough cookie has already been through).  However, she also told us that her other ovary was “extremely enlarged” and we did need to get that checked out immediately by a specialist.  For the most part, this put the worst part of our fears to rest.  Mandee was putting on a very strong face at this point, but I was still inwardly a basket case.  We felt that we had had our prayers answered, but I was not about to relax until we knew for sure that everything was OK.

Following their recommendation, Mandee scheduled an appointment with an OB-GYN specialist in Idaho Falls.  Another side note… according to a good friend of ours, he was very “dreamy” and could have been a soap opera star if he hadn’t decided to go into medicine, instead.  As we visited with Dr. Hunky, he informed us that the cyst was large enough that he was very concerned it would burst and that there could also be some endometriosis (if any guys are reading this… don’t try to understand what endometriosis means… I still have a very stupid look on my face from when he explained it to me) left from the craziness that was involved with Sammy’s birth.  “Oh… and by the way… you are having surgery the day after tomorrow.”  Awesome.

We had surgery… the end.  OK… you all don’t get off that easily.  You get all of the gory details.  The good news was… hey, I get to take a couple of days off during tax season (I just realized that sounded really petty, when my wife was about to have abdominal surgery). 

The day of the surgery arrived.  We got Mandee all dressed up for the excitement.

I think she needs some of these paper night gowns to take home with her!  In all seriousness, though, the paper pajamas had their own built in heater.  That would be awesome.

Two hours later (did I mention that the surgery was only supposed to take 45 minutes… so you can imagine my mental state at this point) I was summoned to the waiting room to visit with Dr. Manly (ok… I’ll stop now… he was a really great doctor… we were very grateful for all he did… but the guy did have an amazing head of hair).  The discussion pretty much went like this… “Holy crap… I can’t remember the last time I saw that much scar tissue inside of someone before.  How many freaking surgeries has your wife had?  How could there be anything left in there to take out?”… Well, at least that is how it sounded in my head.  The doctor removed a large amount of scar tissue and one of Mandee’s ovaries.  He explained that it was no wonder that Mandee had experienced a lot of abdominal pain over the last several years.  Her insides were pretty much completely bound up in scar tissue.  He was amazed that she had been able to deal with the pain so well. 

In all seriousness… he explained her pain to me as follows (prepare yourselves all males that are reading this)… “Imagine someone grabbing you by the (insert the scientific name for certain male parts here) and squeezing tightly.  That is how your wife’s pain must have been.”  (Mandee is currently laughing hysterically at me because I can’t even write this without wincing and having my toes curl involuntarily.)  Needless to say, I truly gained a new-found appreciation for how strong Mandee has been in dealing with constant pain for a long period of time.

Also, the doctor thought it would be great fun if he took some pictures of Mandee’s surgery to share with us.  As it turns out… Mandee’s insides were pretty gross.  In the interest of good taste I have formally decided not to share these pictures with all of you.  Who knew that scar tissue just looks like a bunch of stringy snot?

So after much scar tissue removal, losing of one of her ovaries, a brief stint of wonky hormonal craziness that resembled menopause, Mandee is back on her feet.  She is our Super-Mom and my smoking hot wife once again.  We love her very much and know that everyone’s prayers kept her safe.