Day 2

So today did not go quite as smoothly as yesterday. Maggie was fussy all day and would not let me put her down, let Merritt look at her, or really do anything other than whimper or scream...oh, and eat. And let me tell you she can get quite shrill. The only time she was somewhat content was if she was eating or if we were walking while I held her. I am so grateful we bought a baby carrier or my back would be in major trouble (actually it's not doing so great anyway). I knew that this would be hard, but even knowing everything I did there is just no way to prepare yourself for it. I just want so badly to comfort her and yet I can't. This is all so traumatizing for her and it breaks my heart to see her so sad and afraid.

 

There was a bright spot at the end of the day however. At dinner Maggie started smiling and even laughing a little. She was so happy and it lasted for quite some time. She even let Merritt sit next to her and smiled at him when he fed her. I don't know if it was the Tylenol we gave her (she has been poking her fingers in her ears and so we gave it to her just in case) or if it was all the Chinese waitresses making a big fuss over her (which is another issue I will have to address later). On the way up from dinner I stopped in the playroom while Merritt took our stuff to our room. She hasn't really liked the playroom much (because she won't let go of my neck to check it out) but I actually got her to play a little (as long as she was on my lap) and even got her to stand up holding on to my hands. As soon as she heard the squeaks her feet made (we bought some squeaky shoes) she started smiling and stomping her feet. I was able to get her to walk for quite awhile holding on to my hands and she was loving it. Unfortunately as soon as Merritt came around the corner and I told him to go get the camera she started crying again. Oh well. The smiles she does give us make all the fussing worth it! I just can't get over how adorable she is!!!

 

I have had a few people ask how her health is. The thing is I really don't know. She seems fine. She does get tired easily but that could just be the emotional stress of everything. She seems to be breathing fairly rapidly and when I put my hand on her chest her heart doesn't really thump it kind of feels like it is whooshing. But all that could just be in my imagination or I could have forgotten what babies are like at this age. Next week in Guangzhou I will have some babies to compare her with. We just won't know anything until we get her home and have a pediatric cardiologist look at her. I have an appointment set up the Tuesday after we get home. She is behind physically though. She is 21 months and cannot stand up with out holding on to something and even then she is shaky. When she was walking holding onto my hands she was walking stiff legged and would not bend her knees. And she has zero muscle tone, or fat for that matter. All this could be related to her heart or it could just be that in the orphanage she was kept pretty inactive (which is common with heart babies). I just don't know yet. I also haven't been able to really see what she can do because honestly she will not let go of me. I'm getting anxious to get her home and see how she does once she is a little more adjusted.